Mistakes and Guilt..they can kill A person..dont u agree?

well i will ramble here again..but this is for a reason...sometimes i wish i had the heart of a serial killer ...the soul of a reaper...i wonder how elevating it would be to not feel guilt shame or remorse or regret!!!!
I mean i go through life and do so many things i regret and wish i had not done..sometimes even knowingly we jump into the flames....maybe sometimes our senses go numb and our depth of reasoning becomes so shallow that anything goes...i wonder what it would feel like to be numb? Now i understand the song by Pink Floyd...their desire to feel numb..to loose all connections with reality..not be bothered by anything around us...to let loose and relax...
Maybe this is why a lot of drug abusers go back...relapse...the GUILT....Mistakes...Another thign is the society does make it worse by remembering only the MISTAKES of everyone...what about all the items we did so many things so right...and GOOD!!?? Why do we judge a person by his mistakes rather than his goodness???
Come on!!! Haven t' we progressed at all ??? We used to be a forgiving society...even now we seem to forget more serious issues and do remember less important issues...i mean we cant forgive a drug user but we are willing to allow a peadophile live amongst us???
back to the point...point of feeling no remorse...or guilt..how easy life would be..but then again i weigh out...if im numb i cant feel anything good either now could i??? So i guess the guilt is supposed to be our defense mechanism to protect ones self from repeating the same mistake??? But what if on top of the guilt we also get naming and shaming from people around us..[people who dont see their own dirty laundry] i mean thats extra now isn't it???
I wonder how many more people feel the same...????

Why do we resist change even when we know we need it desperately???

i mean so much is going these days regarding the young people...gang wars and drug infestation of communities...isn't it at all troubling i wonder??? i mean there is not much we cant do if we stood together...maybe before anything else we need to change the government...i wonder how many young people really gave any thought to it...a lot of people are still at a stage where they just say " im not into politics"...but everyone has an opinion about drugs and gang wars...its seems saying they dont' like politics is a futile attempt to disengage themselves from actually doing something about it...taking the easy route out or waiting for someone else to do it...while at the end of the day the ticket to a peaceful country in harmony is in our own hands...all these problems of food security and personal security and health care and education all seem to be identified as big problems and accepted as so by the general public...but it seems none of them are willing to risk anything or risk change to make a difference...i mean the civil service bill is in and things are changing but there seems to be one constant factor resisting actual true change towards a modern democracy with rights of human beings respected...we all know who what that factor is....i wonder how many young people will actually sacrifice themselves for the future of their own kids??? i just wonder what will happen if a hundred [at the least] young people within ages of 18-25 sat down in front of the largest house in Male' and demanded for the change...i just wonder..maybe its just my flight of fancy...but maybe im not alone...